


Dude, Just Be Yourself

by The_Heart_of_an_Angel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bit sad at times, Cas likes to wear girl's clothes sometimes, Cute, Dean is in the closet, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Gay Pride, Gay/Straight Alliance, He looks super hot in them though, John is homophobic, Lisa and Dean only date in the beginning, M/M, Maybe some tears, definitely eventual smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 12:54:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4180578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Heart_of_an_Angel/pseuds/The_Heart_of_an_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is in the closet, so he is super reluctant to be dragged to Gay/Straight Alliance meetings by Sammy. He puts up with it for awhile, secretly, while still dating Lisa to keep suspicions down. That is, until he and Sam along with some of the other GSA kids go to the annual GSA conference: a meeting of all GSAs from the surrounding schools to have fun and learn about sexuality and gender, and Dean meets someone new. This someone being a guy he'd never thought he'd fall for: Castiel Novak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Dude, no  _way_!" Dean snapped, crossing his arms and looking away, out the window. There was absolutely no  _fucking way_ he was going to. 

"Dean, stop being an ass! You can't go the rest of your life pretending to be straight."Sam argued. He turned his body in the cramped bus seat to face his brother. Dean threw his hands up and shushed him. 

"Will you keep your voice down, you idiot? Someone might hear you!" He glared at his little brother for a moment, then rested his head against the window and continued to stare out of it. He watched the people on the streets blur as they sped up to go down the back road. The road that led a bit farther from the center of town, lined with huge trees and old houses that spread farther and farther apart. 

"Dean, there's only one kid on this bus besides us, and he's in the back with his headphones on." Sam scowled. Why must his brother be so blind? Couldn't he tell he was hurting himself: locking himself in a cage that only he had the key to?

"Whatever, still don't wanna take a chance." Two silver cars streaked past them like paint smeared on a wall. 

"Come on, the meetings are only once a week, and you don't even have to tell anyone why you're there. They have a don't ask: don't tell policy," Sam said. Dean ignored him. "They only talk about it when you're comfortable enough to. No one's going to pressure you to come out." 

"No, Sam, It's stupid. I will never be ready to 'come out'" He mumbled. "How do you even know I'm gay, I never told you."

"You don't have to tell me. I know because i know you, and you stare at guys' asses  _all the time._ " Sam smirked. Dean really was not that careful whilst checking out other guys. It was like his eyes automatically went to the nicest male ass in the room every. single. time. 

"I do not!" Dean rolled his eyes. Sam was an idiot. There was no way he would be that obvious. Right?

"Yeah you do."

"Whatever."

"You also have the biggest fucking crush on Dr. Sexy, I couldn't even believe it when you started watching that show. You get all flustered and blush whenever he comes on screen." Sam laughed, slapping his knee. His backpack nearly fell off of his lap. 

 

"Shut the fuck up, Sam." Dean's freckled cheeks were starting to turn a little red. How did Sam notice all this shit? He was way too attentive. The bus turned onto their street, crawling to a stop in front of their house. Dean pushed Sam to get out of the seat. The younger brother stumbled into the aisle, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. He quickly moved up the aisle and got off the bus.

"Calm down, Dean, you almost pushed me on the floor!" He yelled, turning around to glare at his brother.

"You weren't moving fast enough." Dean didn't look at him, and instead walked right past him to hop up their porch steps. Their house was large, with a beautiful garden filled with flowers and trees- special thanks to their diligent and patient mother. It had a stone porch with intricate metal railing, and two chairs with a table set up to the right of the front door. It was a warm, old, comforting home. Their mother had wanted to buy it since she was a dreamy teenager, but she hadn't had the money until she and John, their father, got married. She was 22, he was 25 at the time they purchased it. They made it their own, and they raised two beautiful little boys in it. 

Sam followed Dean as he pushed through the front door and went into the kitchen. His backpack was thrown into a chair at the dining room table. 

"Dean, I really think you should at least consider going. It could be good for you to meet other people that know what you're going through!" Sam leaned his back against the counter next to Dean, who was putting together a ham and cheese sandwich. Dean sighed and looked at Sam, his jaw clenching in irritation.

"And what would happen if Dad found out?" Silence permeated the air for a moment. "Yeah, that's what I thought. If dad knew I was a... a  _fag,_ he'd fucking disown me." He went back to slapping ham on his bread. 

"Well, fuck Dad! He doesn't even know what he's talking about! Besides, Mom would never let him do anything..." 

"Still, Sam, you don't even know how it feels to know that your dad would hate you if he found out." He pressed the two sides of the sandwich together and took a huge bite out of it. He didn't know what Dad would do if he ever found out, but he did know that he wouldn't hug and tell him he loves him anyway. There wouldn't be happy tears of relief of finally letting his true self be known. There wouldn't be dramatic pauses, or a weepy The Fray song playing gently in the background. There would probably be yelling, and someone would get kicked out of the house. Their mom would cry.

"Maybe I don't know exactly how it feels, but I understand that it hurts. I understand that you shouldn't have to feel that way, and that's why you should go to GSA." Dean took another bite out of his sandwich and thought for a moment, He looked up at the ceiling and sighed through his nose. 

"Fine." He said through a mouthful of ham and bread. Sam punched the air. 

"Yes! You will not be disappointed, Dean! And don't worry, I'm going too, as an ally. It'll be fun, I swear!" He put his backpack on a chair at the table, and began making his own sandwich. He was overjoyed that he'd finally convinced his hard-headed brother. He knew that this would be really good for him, and he couldn't wait until Wednesday afternoon. 

"Yeah, whatever, Sammy."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean goes to his first GSA meeting, and he is super fucking nervous.

Dean's knee was bouncing up and down beneath his desk. His eyes kept flashing to the clock that hung over the doorway to the classroom. His chewed his lip and tapped his pencil on his desk. All of Dean's nervous ticks were showing, which meant that he was extremely anxious. 

There were only 15 minutes left until the end of ninth period, and then he would be whisked away by Sam to go meet some gay kids in room 209. What if he didn't fit in with the gay kids either? He didn't really fit in with many other kids at the school. His only friend was basically Sammy. He never hung out with friends, or went out on dates. No one really paid attention to him, and he didn't pay attention to anyone else besides his brother. What if the GSA kids thought him to be too distant and moody like everyone else did?

On the other hand, maybe they would understand. 

The teacher was still talking and Dean was not listening at all. Mr. Kit was probably talking about their homework for tonight. It was probably the vocabulary that Dean had finished ahead of time when he'd gotten bored two days before. they all had the list of prefixes that they had to find words for, so why not get it done all at once? Doing five every week took too long, and wasted his time. 

10 minutes until the end of the school day.

Dean closed his eyes, hoping that would make time go faster. He needed to get the hell out of that classroom. It wasn't that he was excited, or looking forward to going to the stupid club, it was that he wanted to get it over with. He opened his eyes and only thirty seconds had passed. 

_Go faster you stupid fucking clock._

He tapped his pencil harder on his desk in a fast, unorganized rhythm, His lip was starting to swell a little bit, and his hand that wasn't tapping the pencil was starting to twitch. 

5 minutes until the end of this suspenseful hell. 

He looked around the room, staring past blurring faces with his unfocused vision. The teacher's voice droned in his ears, and he closed his eyes again. 

_Shut the hell up, and let me leave, you piece of crap teacher._

He ground his teeth together and groaned, shifting in his seat. He saw the seconds hand on the clock move over the twelve, and he held his breath. 

The bell finally rang. Dean couldn't get out of there fast enough. 

He went to his locker and shoved some books in his backpack, and pulled out the ones he didn't need. He shoved those back into his locker. His heart was pounding fast and loud in his chest, and he jumped when Sam came up from behind him. 

"Dean, come on. When we get in there, I'll introduce you to a few people. You'll meet the rest of them when we do the Circle Check-in." Dean nodded numbly. He followed Sam through the crowds of students exiting the building until they reached the designated classroom. 209. He let out a shaky breath and put on his tough guy face. "Dean, are you okay?"

"Yeah, let's just go in already." Sam nodded and pushed open the door. Dean was surprised at how many people were actually in there. 

He noticed a lot of them had weird hair. Dyed purple or blue, or multi-coloured. Some had piercings and others looked normal. They looked like anyone else in the school. He saw one girl in particular that was sitting at a desk in the corner. She had long black hair and glasses, and was wearing a knit sweater that was way too big for her. She seemed kind of scared too. He looked away as Sam pulled him down in a chair on the other side of the room. 

Everyone was talking. Loudly. They'd all formed their own little groups and congregated in different parts of the room.  Dean had no idea where to go, since most of the corners and sides of the room were taken. He stood in the middle of the room, and set down his backpack on a chair. He sat down and looked around awkwardly. What if someone thought he was weird because he had no friends? 

He sighed as Sam sat down on the desk next to his. He motioned to the three kids who were walking over. "Hey, Dean, this is Ruby, Anna, and Gabriel." Dean waved to them with a fake, yet charming smile. Ruby was tall with dark curly brown hair. She didn't seem very friendly, even though she was holding hands with the girl next to her. Dean assumed she was Anna. She was very thin, but pretty with bright red hair. She smiled shyly and waved back at Dean. 

Gabriel was different than both of them. He was smirking, looking Dean up and down whilst sucking on a lollipop. Dean swallowed and smiled at Sammy. "These your friends?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, they're my best friends." Sam put his arm around Gabriel. "Guys, this is my brother, Dean. He's here as an ally." Gabriel snorted. Dean cocked an eyebrow. 

"Something funny, man?" He crossed his arms and looked at Gabriel. Sam rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe his brother was already getting into arguments with his friends. 

"Nope. Nothing." Gabriel replied, but he still held a smug look. Dean nodded, unconvinced, but he didn't want to make an enemy already. He just thought Gabe was a bit irritating. Sam started chatting with Ruby and Anna. Dean was barely listening, and Gabe had gone out to the vending machine in the hall to get some snacks. Dean watched as Sam was pulled away by his friends to sit a few rows in front of him. He sighed. So much for having someone to sit with. 

The meeting started slowly as a girl with bright green hair stood at the front of the room and quieted everyone down. "Alright, if you haven't signed in already, please do so at the end of the meeting!" She called out, holding up a clipboard in the air for everyone to see, "The sign-in sheet is right here, so please don't forget!" She set it down on the front desk and proceeded to talk about the GSA t-shirts and the guest speaker coming the next week. Apparently, they were from an LGBT Youth Center from the next town over. 

Dean thought that might be a little interesting. He'd never had anyone come to discuss... gayness with him before. He figured he might just come next week for that. He wasn't sure if he'd continue to come to meetings, but he'd cross that bridge later. 

The meeting felt fairly short and soon people were talking again and leaving the room in groups. The faculty overseer was handing out passes for the late bus, so Dean went over through the crowd and picked one up. When he turned around, Sam was standing there. 

"I'm gonna walk home with Ruby and Anna. We're gonna get coffee on the way. Is that okay?" His younger brother asked, large hazel eyes sparkling. Dean nodded with a smile. 

"Sure, Sammy, I'll see you at home." He scooched past his little bro and picked his backpack up off the floor. He waited until Sam and Co. had left before making his way to the door. It hit him that he hadn't signed in as soon as he got into the doorway, so he turned on his heel and went to the front of the room, where the clipboard was stationed. There was another person bending over it, scribbling their name. 

Dean couldn't help but smile at them as they stood straight again. It was a guy, wearing tight pink jeans and a low v-neck top under a tan coat. Jangly bracelets covered his wrists and he had bright pink stud earrings in. That was the first thing Dean noticed. The second thing was that the guy was really,  _really_ good-looking. He had a long neck and a defined jaw, huge blue eyes and messy black hair. Looking closer as he neared the desk, he also noticed his beautiful fucking lip piercings. So, basically, he was stunning. It was confusing to Dean that such a feminine-looking boy could be so attractive, but, there was no saying otherwise. 

The boy smiled at Dean as he adjusted the strap of his leather messenger bag and strutted- fucking  _strutted_ out of the room. 

_Goddamn!_

Dean immediately looked at the sign-in sheet and grinned widely at finding out the strange boy's name: Castiel Novak. Dean was ecstatic that he found out his name without having to ask him. He wasn't sure he would be able to talk to Castiel yet, he thought as he wrote his name quickly. He suddenly felt very nervous, and ran out into the hall, looking for Castiel. Unfortunately, he was too far away or had turned a corner, so Dean didn't see him. It was a little disappointing. Well, at least he knew he was definitely coming to the meetings every week. 

He was walking; melancholy, slow, until he realized that he was going to be late for the bus if he didn't hurry the fuck up. So, he sprinted down the hall and made it outside through the front doors. The autumn wind lashed out at cheeks, turning them pink. He ran quickly to the short line of buses and got on his assigned one. This was only his second time getting on the late bus- the first being the week before since he'd had to stay after for Algebra help- so he didn't have anyone to sit with there, either. 

That is, until he turned after giving the bus driver his address, and noticed a certain someone's cute floppy black hair and shining blue eyes over the seat. 

_Oh shit, this is going to either be a really good, or a really awkward bus ride..._

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, this is just the beginning of what will hopefully be a long and beautiful story. I promise you that there will be much more to come. For now, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, and are looking forward to chapter two. 
> 
> <3 Jay


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